the coot

I was walking my dog the other day when we ran into the coot

“Good morning coot”, I said
“Good morning”, the coot said

“You are not a fish, though you can swim”, I said
The coot stared at me

“You are not a plane, though you can fly”, I continued
The coot lit a cigarette

“You are not a human, though you can walk”, I tried
The coot sighed

“You are not, …”
“Dude, would you just take it easy? I’m a bird, ok? Relax”

“A bird”, I thought, “a bird”